The music world was rocked with some pretty awful news today: Chris Cornell, lead vocalist for Soundgarden, and Audioslave was found dead this morning. Chris was an amazing vocalist, with some of the best pipes in the business. His contribution to music, and the grunge scene in particular, can never be denied. The man was extremely talented.
As the day continued, I started to hear rumors that his death was suicide. I was hoping that they were just rumors, but it turns out that the rumors were true. He hung himself. Immediately people online started putting out the same old bullshit of "he's selfish", and "I have no sympathy for the man." Now let me start by saying that people are entitled to their opinion, but I find these comments to be rude, cruel, and completely unnecessary.
Depression is a horrible thing. As someone that his lived with it a lot of his life, I can say that there are good days, and there are bad days. And let me tell you all, the bad days are just awful. And though it is a little embarrassing to admit it, there were times in my life where I felt that maybe everyone would be better off without me here. It's a terrible feeling, to feel like the best option is to end your own life. Thankfully I never got very far, but the thoughts alone were bad enough.
Now, I can get where the selfish comments are coming from, but let me ask all of you that subscribe to this school of thought one question: Are your comments helping matters? The answer is simple: "no". Your opinions aren't helping those around you that feel depression, and they obviously aren't helping the person that has passed. I just don't understand the need to immediately attack a person based on their mental illness. I don't understand why people need to say things like this. It's hurtful to the family of the victim, and it's hurtful to all of those that have lived with these thoughts.
Depression is hard. And on the bad days, it's damn near unbearable at times. You don't want to see anyone, or talk to anyone. On those days, you don't even really want anyone to reach out and help you. You just want to lie in bed, and cry yourself into a dreamless sleep. Not that the sleep is ever dreamless, but you can hope. My point is that the bad days are about the worst things imaginable, at the time. But somehow, most of us eventually pull through. Whether it be the help of a song, using our own personal creative outlets, or just riding it out, most of us pull through.
Not everyone pulls through, and even the famous, very talented people are not immune to the dark clutches of depression. And even though the suicide hotline number keeps making the rounds through facebook, many people that have come to that dark place don't want to call that number. I know I didn't. It's embarrassing. And I think part of the reason is this stigma attached to mental illness. We don't want to be judged. We don't want to be laughed at, or talked down to. Speaking for myself, all I really want is someone to take my mind off of it. I don't want to talk about my depression, I want to step outside of it.
I am no expert on this subject. Hell, am I an expert on any subject? Probably not. But I do know this: the rude comments, and hateful words need to stop. They aren't helping anybody, and they make it harder for someone needing help to reach out. So before you post your comments online, hiding behind your IP like the coward you are, just remember that there are people out there reading these comments and deciding that it's better to be left in their pit of self despair, than to ask for help.
And finally, to all of the people that have chosen suicide as the only way out: You do have my sympathy, and my heart goes out to you. I hope that wherever you are, you have found some peace. Because no matter what some may think, you deserve that peace.
((This is a song from my band's fifth album, about "Living In Darkness"))
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