Today I am writing this blog post from a hospital bed. A hospital bed that I have been in since Saturday. A hospital bed that I have been mostly alone in, since Saturday. I think that's the hardest part of all of this. The ones that mean the most to me have so much to do this week, and I'm stuck here, feeling alone, and just sad. I hate feeling this useless, and helpless. I know that it's not my fault really, but it's hard to not feel that way. I want so much to help that special someone, but I just can't right now. To be honest, I've cried some tears over it. I want to be better for her, better than she's had to deal with in her past. Because she deserves everything. She deserves me to give my all. So yes, it's a horrible feeling. It hurts me.
Why am I in this hospital room? My foot. And at the moment, that's all I really want to say about it. It's nothing too horrible, and it will heal nicely, but it's going to take a little bit. And that kind of depresses me. When I say "a little bit", I'm being told a few weeks. But that's an important few weeks. That's the first few weeks that we are trying to start our new lives. That's the first few weeks that we are supposed to be settling into the rest of our lives. I can promise that I will do everything I can to make it all easier on her, but it still hurts me. It hurts that I feel like I'm letting her down. I never wanted to do that. I never want her to feel like she is doing everything on her own. So yes, I'm going to do everything I can to help out as much as possible. I want to be part of a real team. I want to show her the kindness, and love that she has shown me.
I know, I'm rambling here. But that's what this blog is about. A place for me to pour my heart out. Maybe it comes off as me whining, but I need an outlet to "talk". I try to not let those I care about down. And I guess I just want her to know how sorry I am about all of this. This is not how I saw this week going. I was looking forward to this crazy, hectic week. But no. Today I am writing this blog post from a hospital bed. Alone.
Why am I in this hospital room? My foot. And at the moment, that's all I really want to say about it. It's nothing too horrible, and it will heal nicely, but it's going to take a little bit. And that kind of depresses me. When I say "a little bit", I'm being told a few weeks. But that's an important few weeks. That's the first few weeks that we are trying to start our new lives. That's the first few weeks that we are supposed to be settling into the rest of our lives. I can promise that I will do everything I can to make it all easier on her, but it still hurts me. It hurts that I feel like I'm letting her down. I never wanted to do that. I never want her to feel like she is doing everything on her own. So yes, I'm going to do everything I can to help out as much as possible. I want to be part of a real team. I want to show her the kindness, and love that she has shown me.
I know, I'm rambling here. But that's what this blog is about. A place for me to pour my heart out. Maybe it comes off as me whining, but I need an outlet to "talk". I try to not let those I care about down. And I guess I just want her to know how sorry I am about all of this. This is not how I saw this week going. I was looking forward to this crazy, hectic week. But no. Today I am writing this blog post from a hospital bed. Alone.
I hope you feel better! Get everything better so once you get settled then you won't have to stop for anything once your life start going. I'm sure everyone understands. You need to be healthy so you can live a full life. Get better so you can be the Rob everyone knows and loves!
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