Nothing But Love

Picture for a moment a clear sky. No clouds, no breeze, just a clear blue sky. You're looking up into this picture perfect sky, not needing to even shield yours eyes from the sunlight, because it's that sweet part of the day where the sun will not hurt those pretty eyes of yours. Off in the distance you hear a bird, and although you really know next to nothing about birds, it sounds beautiful to your ears. It creates an even more serene, and wonderful moment in time. It's as if time is standing still so that you may enjoy this perfect moment alone. But, not everything is perfect.

Inside your mind there is inner turmoil. You are out here in this field, alone, because you feel lonely, afraid, and just tired of living each day to the next, in sadness. For a moment you try to just ignore all that is wrong, and all that has gone wrong, and you try to live in this brief snapshot in time, this gift that you have been given. Given by who? Maybe it was God, or some other higher power. The who doesn't matter. They reason is the only thing that matters. This was given to you, so that you can try and feel at peace, if even for just a short amount of time.

A tear falls from your eye. You have no idea how many tears you have cried today, because you've lost count, and so you just let it fall. There is no point in wiping your tears away any longer, you have cried far too many. The tear is now all that you can seem to focus on. Just another lonely tear, falling from lonely eyes, of a person that is nothing more than a ruined wreck of the person that you once were. Why should you even fight them any longer?

And yet, here is this perfectly clear sky. This singing bird. And a beautiful deer, that has just crossed the field very close to you. Distance has no hold in your mind, it makes no difference. The only thing that matters is that it was close enough, for just a moment, that you could have almost reached out and touched. Almost, that is, if you didn't feel completely dead inside. Aching, and longing for someone to just hold you, and tell you that everything was going to be alright.

Another tear falls from your eye. It falls slowly, and before it leaves your face, another tear is right behind it. And more come close behind that one, as you find yourself in yet another sobbing fit. Your try your hardest to fight it, at first. But you realize quickly that there is no point in trying to fight it. You are broken. You are ready to just give up.

On the other edge of the field is a cliff. The cliff is the reason that you have come to this place, but you just can't seem to put one foot in front of the other, and approach the cliff. Everything else around you is just so beautiful, but it feels somehow in the future. Like this perfect sky, this deer, even the singing bird are just beyond your time. You want to reach out to them, and let them fold you into their happiness, but it doesn't feel like the right time.

The time is now. And now, is the cliff. So you lift your leg, and find yourself slowly moving forward. Very slowly. The movement is agonizingly slow. And even though you see all of this beauty that surrounds you, it's almost as if it isn't there, but you know that it could be. That some day it will be there. And maybe that's why you walk so slowly to the cliff. Because somewhere deep inside, you know that the cliff is a permanent solution to a problem that may seem like it is permanent as well, it's really not. At least, you try to tell yourself that. And so all the while you are moving forward, something seems to be holding you back. Maybe it's against your will, and maybe it's not, but it is holding you back.

You keep moving forward. Time no longer has any meaning. You can still feel this beautiful scene in front of you, this amazing happiness, but you still can't find a way to embrace it. The tears that are falling down your face never seem to stop any longer. It's as if someone has turned on a faucet, and even though it's a slow drip, it's one that no plumber could ever fix. Life no longer seems to have any meaning. Life is stale, it's stagnant. Life is no longer worth living.

Finally, after what seems like an eternity, you begin to approach the cliff. The hillside is beautiful, but you still can't find a way to see that beauty. All you can see are the sharp rocks, and the long fall, to the bottom of the pit. The bottom seems to be covered with broken promises of happiness, a life that held any real meaning, and your good intentions to move forward into a better tomorrow.

You feel yourself standing on the edge of the cliff. The journey behind you was so long, and so hard, and now you're just ready to step off, and enter a sleep that will never end. It will take away the pain. It will stop all of the hurt. But something holds you back. You can finally see the light. The beautiful sky. The singing birds. You can finally see all of the beauty that was waiting for you. It took a long time for this picture to come to you, but it finally came. This breathtaking scene seems to have a message for you. A message that says only, "I'm glad I met you now." Suddenly, everything changes.

You step back from the cliff. One step brings you miles away from the pit that would have ended your pain. And when you take a moment to look around, you realize that there is no pain. You no longer feel empty, you no longer feel lost. You no longer feel completely alone, and helpless. This beautiful vision, this angelic picture is finally ready for you.

Even though you spent so long tired, aching, and unhappy, this beautiful future was always here waiting for you. It may have taken longer than you wanted it to, but it was here for you all along. And as the days turn to weeks, you find yourself wondering if that pit every existed. And after a very short time, you realize that it never really did. That it was only there to help you see the beauty, and the happiness that had been just up ahead. You never gave up, and you finally got the picture that was meant for you. It finally came. And in the end, it was worth every moment of pain. Because it took all of that pain away, and showed you nothing but love.