The Color of Right

"A Ginger In A Hospital Gown"

Hello again, all of you fine folks out there in whatever land it is that you are in. This is Rob. Well, I am Rob. But I guess you knew that. At least, I would think that you would have known that by now. If you didn't know that, then how is it that you come by my blog? No, seriously, I really want to know. Did you just wander in here by accident, like a homeless kitten, wandering the streets of this world all alone? If so, my heart goes out to you. Just my heart, not my spleen. What my spleen does is frankly of no concern to you, and I should thank you to longer bring up this subject.

You're probably wondering why I am writing to you all today. To be honest, I'm not sure. I just felt like if I can't exercise my body right now, I may as well keep my brain working. I've found that writing has always been my best outlet for that. Just sort of let my fingers do the talking, as it were. I don't really have a particular subject in mind, I just felt the need to write something.

Today, I am still sitting on this uncomfortable hospital bed, while all of my loved ones are dealing with the impending move, that is coming up this Saturday. As of July 1st I will no longer be living in Council Bluffs, Iowa. It's weird for me to think that. Other than about a three month period when I was in the second grade, I have always lived in the beautiful, scenic Council Bluffs. But... I have always wanted to live in a smaller town. And that's just where we are headed, a smaller town. And I think with the move, it will bring a better life. Certainly it is cheaper to live down there, even if we are running into quite a few costs just getting the move over with. But, I guess that's to be expected. Still, I hadn't thought that others would need to help with the cost. I just figured that I could pick up this bill all on my own. And for the most part, I have. It's that "for the most part" thing that has my head in a bit of a mess today.

Again, I am in this hospital, watching the clock on the wall slowly tick away to the moment that I get out of here. I'm being told Friday morning. And my fingers are well crossed that Friday morning will be my release date. God, that sounds like I'm excited to be ending a prison sentence. In a way, it sort of feels like that. I can't really go anywhere. I can't even walk to the damn bathroom on my own. Everything about this is awful. I have never liked being the center of attention. Yet here, I find myself the constant center of attention. And I am horrible uncomfortable with that. I don't really care for people noticing me. I guess I'm more of a "blend into the background" kind of guy. The more people notice me, the more I feel that they are judging me. I guess high-school did its number on me. Still, it's not like I have a choice. So I guess I will continue being a pin-cushion, and people will continue watching me. Watching me with an eye that says, "this is your own fault. You are big, and this is your own fault." And even if that look is nowhere near on their face, that's what my mind will tell me. Wow, my mind can be a bit of a jerk sometimes.

I guess I find myself to be a decent guy. I'm not some kind of scary monster, that people should avoid at all costs. I'm just a quiet man, that loves his kid, his family, and maybe a bit of music from time to time. I will admit that I can be a bit of a goof-ball at times. I like to laugh. And between you and I, oh dear reader, I would rather laugh, than cry, any day. Was that enough commas? You can never be too sure if you have enough commas in a sentence. Comma. See. That entire sentence was "comma", and to be honest, I like it. I like it a lot. It's sort of beautiful, in its own, sophisticated way. Wow, this entire paragraph went off into a whole 'nother direction. I don't know what happened to me there, but somehow, I think that David Spade had something to do with it.

So, where was I? Oh yes, I was just sort of rambling. Just sort of keeping the ol' thinker ticking. Does my thinker tick? Who knows?! But I like to kep it working. I like words. I love how you can start a simple blog, not knowing where you are going with it, and by the time you get to the end, you can sort of read back on it and think, "Well, it's not a brilliant novel, but it came from my own head." And that's pretty cool. My words may never be read by a mass audience, but if anyone reads them, then that is pretty darn cool.

Yesterday, I posted a somewhat depressing entry in this online diary of mine. Yesterday was a bit of a bad day for me, at times. Being alone in a hospital room is very lonely. I guess I just felt like so many needed me, and I couldn't be there for them. That made it a lot worse. So couple that with the wonderful antibiotic that I was being pumped full of, that made my veins feel as if they were being filled up with molten lava, and I guess I was just having a bit of a hard time at that moment. I never want to be a burden on anybody. Especially Julia. I want us to be a team, through anything that life can throw at us. And she has been so amazing through this. So, I guess I just wanted to apologizing for being a bit of a downer yesterday. I'll be okay.

Now... my foot. It's doing well. It's healing fine. There's some drainage that still needs to happen, but after Friday it's going to an outpatient, dressing changing thing. The healing may take a few weeks, but it'll get there, and then I'll be back to the walking. I think I have decided to cut back on the walking though. It seems to be the source of all of my problems. Once I'm healed, and better, I'm thinking keep it to a sensible five miles a day. Nice, and easy. Keep eating right, and with Julia I have no concerns there!, and keep losing this weight. I can't do anything about being a creepy ginger, but I can make me a healthy, creepy ginger. And that is a good thing. Well... good enough. Ha!

Now that I've taken enough of your time, I'd like to thank you all for reading along with me today. Maybe I didn't say much today, but I accomplished what I set out to do. Get a bit of writing in. Maybe even kill some time, while I wait for my girlfriend to get back in town. So I guess I'll call that enough for now. Thanks again for reading. I think my next post, I will write a short story. That's always a lot of fun. Until then... toodles.

Your pal,
Rob

A beautiful sunrise, in Shenandoah, Iowa