Sleeping is a great way to handle depression. There is nothing easier than sleeping your life away, when you don't care about the life that you have. When you are fine with letting life just pass you by, sleep takes a lot of hours away from that struggle. Sleep is like an old friend that won't let you down. Well, not always. There are sleepless nights. But those are like that drunk old friend that just wants to party. It doesn't care if you need at least some "zzz's", it just wants to high-five, and talk about how much it loves you.
My new life, the new Rob, doesn't need much sleep. I get enough to get by, but there is too much that I want to do. There is so much I want to experience. So much life to live. So many memories that I want to make. And yes, so much that needs to be done. I just don't have the time for a large amount of sleep. It's a waste of time. And sadly, time is one thing that none of us have enough of.
Time goes by so fast. And in the blink of an eye, you come to find out that days of your life, even years of your life, have passed you by. You don't know how, but you're pretty sure that a large amount of it has been taken up by more sleep than any one person really needs. It's like you took a long blink, and suddenly your hair is getting gray (or disappearing altogether!), your body makes so many new, and interesting noises, and you just don't remember things the way you used to. The world looks different, through the same eyes that no longer see as well. And what used to be such an easy thing to do, now takes you twice as long, and is twice as taxing on your wasting body. Okay, I may not be there yet on some of those (though, where the hell did my thick head of hair go?!?!), but I'm getting there.
I think the most important thing to me now, the thing that takes up those hours of sleep, is spending time with my family, and my beautiful girlfriend. I just can't seem to get enough time with her. We lie awake talking to each other until neither of us can keep our eyes open any longer. Okay, it's usually my eyes that give up first. Their traitors. I treat them right, and they just give up on me. Damn my eyes! To be honest, those eyes fight me a lot. I've found that it doesn't take much for them to get bored and drift off. I can fall asleep in the car, waiting for the kids to get out of school. I can fall asleep watching TV (I can never watch much TV with the light out. I'll fall asleep faster than Fergie can butcher the National Anthem!). I even find them wanting to shut when I'm driving back and from to Council Bluffs. My eyes are assholes. And they know it. But, I won't let them win. Not this time!
To be honest, this was one of those rambling blogs. Just some thoughts about sleeping that I wanted to write down. Sort of a "blog" if you will. I can't say that anyone will find much wisdom in my words. But I do want to say this: don't let your life pass you by. Don't sleep your days away. I did that before, when I didn't care about my life. But something crazy happened along the way, and suddenly I cared about my life again. And I don't intend to waste it.
Between the two us, Julia and I have six kids. And of course there is a baby on the way. And I don't intend on missing any of it. I intend on being there with that baby every step of its life. Like I should have been for my other three. I missed many a moment because I "needed" so much sleep. Not this time. This time that baby is going to have more of its daddy than it could ever want. And my other three, well... I have some time to make up. Maybe I'll play a game with my son? Maybe write some songs with my oldest daughter? Maybe just sit, and laugh with my youngest? Who knows. There's time for that. There has to be. There needs to be. There will be!
There's a saying that goes, "get busy living, or get busy dying." I'm going to take the former option on this one. Presumably I have just this one life to live. And I'm going to live it doing what makes me happy. Oh sure, I also have responsibilities. But in the end, what's more important than your family? Not a damn thing. Not one damn thing.
Comments
Post a Comment