Well, here's a post that I never thought that I would make. Though I did pray for it many times. Finally my eleven year old daughter, Samantha, will no longer be my youngest child. Julia and I found out in December that we are going to be having a baby.!
Somehow, I managed to keep this quiet... for the most part. We told several people, but overall it was kept quiet. Until today. We had a baby check-up, and everything was fine. So we decided it was time to finish letting the cat out of the bag.
I've spent so much time thinking about it. I never thought that I would be here in my life. In a place where I absolutely adore the woman I am with. I am happy. I wake up not sad. And now we are expecting a baby. This August.
And so, the long wait begins. We have so much that we need to do. So much that we have to prepare for. And though her youngest is seven, she has a nephew that she babysat a lot. I haven't really had that. I haven't taken care of a baby since Samantha was one. And I was a lot younger then. I'm much older now. But, I have to believe that I am wiser. And I am definitely much more happy.
It is scary to be entering fatherhood yet again, and at nearly 39 years old. I don't remember how to do any of it. And, I'm not thinking that this is one of those "ride a bike" scenarios. This is important, life changing stuff. This is what I have been hoping, and praying for. So even though it is a bit scary, I'm looking forward to it.
As much as I tried to love my ex, I never loved her the way that a husband is supposed to love a wife. And though I love my three kids so very much, I am excited to be raising a baby with a woman that I have so much love for in my heart. I don't know how our different parenting styles are going to work, but I do know that with some compromise (mostly on my part; she's an AMAZING mother!), we'll have no trouble raising this baby. Teaching it to be a good person. And teaching it that love is always enough.
This is going to be a very long six months, but at the end of that, we will be welcoming our baby into this world, with open arms. And with six siblings, and countless relatives, I know that this baby is going to be loved so very much.
I'm sure I'll ramble on a lot more, later. But for now, I just want to thank you all for reading, and I hope that you will all join me, when the time comes, in welcoming this new life into the world.
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